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What the F?

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There have been so many times throughout this deployment that I’ve felt like I’ve completely hit a wall. It’s not that I want to give up or throw in the towel– that’s not, and never will be, an option. But it’s just a tiredness, such an emotional exhaustion that makes everything seem unconquerable.

When John left after his R&R, I sat in my car in the airport’s parking garage for at least 30 minutes because I just couldn’t get the gumption to turn the key. I couldn’t even find the energy to put the key in the ignition, for goodness’ sake.

When I did get myself back to Baltimore, I tried to snap myself out of that awful funk. I went on a shopping spree for food for John’s care package. (You already know this if you read this.) I’m really bad at estimating, so what I though was enough for a box and a half ended up just barely fitting into three large USPS Priority boxes.

I decided to take the food I had bought and try to organize it into cute themes. I took all of the soups and made the Souper Super Bowl box up. And then, I realized that I had so many fish products and fruit products that they could fill an entire box.

A box so awesome it would sum up my thoughts on this whole deployment. A box full of F words!

I sent a lot of fruit cups, bags of dried fruit, packaged tuna lunch-to-go packs, and a lot– I mean a lot— of of ready-to-eat Sweet and Spicy StarKist tuna. (Those are John’s favorite. For some reason, they sell all of the other varieties at the PX on his base, except for that flavor. This would be the second time I cleared a shelf of it at Wally World. I think I’m getting a crazy cat lady reputation there.)

The outside of the box was kind of (exceptionally) awful. I had fish, fruit, and letter “f” stickers that I stuck all over it. (It was cooler in my head than what it turned out to look like.)

Stay tuned for a the last box in the trio! It’ll be on the blog tomorrow!


16 Responses

  1. I didn’t know what to think until I started reading, and then I giggled. I know this has been a rough time, and it’s not getting any easier. The next time he’s home there will be a wedding, right? That’s indeed something to look forward, too! :) Oh, and you might be right about that cat lady rep! LOL ;)

  2. He’ll be home before you know it, and afterwards you’ll probably feel like you can do anything – at least that’s how I felt after our deployment :) I have a kickass rum cake recipe that I used to send My Man when he was overseas — I make ’em as cupcakes and they are delicious.

    1. Thank you for the kind words, April. We are definitely on the downhill slope now. I just didn’t expect that the after-R&R stuff would be so tough!

  3. I visited Joe in Busan half way through our deployment and saying goodbye the second time was harder than the first…having to go through the adjustment all over again took me a while…Hang in there and keep busy. One day at a time! Love your boxes! They are great!

  4. I bet he loved it! I would have just thrown it all in and never thought to theme it.

    1. I’m sure he thought it was goofy, but whatever. :-) I almost did throw it in a box and ship it off. There’s just never enough time, you know?

  5. I know it’s been a few years since the last post on this page. I’m talking from the mother-in-law point of view. They started talking in October ’07 when she was in college in NC and he was based at Fort Eustis, VA. They met in March ’08, a month before he was sent to Fort Wainwright, Alaska! They did a looong distance relationship until she flew to Alaska to get married (big “wedding” followed in October ’11) in August ’10. – She graduated from college in May ’10 with her B.S.. He was transferred to Fort Riley, KS in April ’11 and she finally got to live with her hubby.
    I watched over the years the difficulties of a long distance relationship, inc 2 Middle East deployments. She sent him a letter or care package EVERY day. She spent every R&R with him, whether it was at her college suite or home with us in Maryland or on a romantic trip away. I saw first-hand the dedication military girlfriends/wives have. They know that they are still “home” in familiar territory; around people daily that are near and dear to them; they are in a place that not only are they familiar and relaxed with/in, but also a place where they can freely move about, etc. Their loved one is deployed in a place that can be so foreign to them Inc the language and culture; they “only” have their near and dear comrades to talk to and live with 24/7 and they are either stationed on a highly fortified base camp or out in the elements in foreign, unfamiliar territory.
    ANYTHING sent from home is a JOY to them – from a 2 page letter, a phone card to hear a familiar voice, a homemade CD of their favorite songs or just your voice telling him/her how much you love/miss them or a jam packed care package that you lovingly put together with thought and care.
    Even tho our daughter did a phenomenal job with every care package she sent him, I SO wish she knew about your blog when he was stationed 5,000+ miles away or deployed 12,000 miles away. Your boards are filled with love, inspiration, awesome ideas and joy to help make the time separated as “easy” as possible on both people.
    My son in law got out of the Army in January ’13 and they came back to Maryland and lived with us for 3 years while he finished his studies. They now happily live in Florida (Hurricane Irma JUST missed them – they evacuated to Georgia to the home of one of her sorority sisters) – she is an Interior Designer and he works for a Fortune 500 company on one of their fighter jet engine programs. They are just in the process of buying their first house (!!) AND my FIRST grandbaby should come in about the next 2 years or so!
    I highly love and respect all military wives and significant others. I’ve seen up close the commitment, the love, the heartache, the loneliness, the joy, the despair and every other emotion you all go thru. My son in law tells me that all those letters and care packages meant the world to him and kept him going during good times and difficult times. Keep doing what you’re doing for your loved one. It means the world to them……. :-)

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