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31 #@%&in’ Things That’ll Do the Cursing For You When Military Life Gets Tough

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Shut the front door! What the fudge?! Son of a biscuit! Whether it causes you chagrin or a chuckle, being a military spouse or SO means you’re bound to hear more than a few “hecks” and “darns” here and there.

But milso life isn’t a cakewalk, and it’s no doubt that at least once, something’s frustrated you to the point of a letting a foul word fly. Maybe you’re not comfortable cursing aloud, but you’ve been so stressed or angry you wanted to scream a freakin’ curse word. Or perhaps you’re skilled in the art of swearing and are just looking for a little daggum swag to add to your collection. Whatever your reason for checking out this article, you’ll find some of the sassiest, sweariest items available below.

These are HILARIOUS.

Please note: The following is not for the faint of heart. If profanity is not your jam, please don’t click any links except to get a chuckle from this granny swears coloring book. You can also check out this article about old-timey swears that are some of the tamest (and silliest) words you’ll ever hear!

Cursin’ in the Kitchen

Where else to blow off a little steam than the kitchen?

  • Thug Kitchen takes a no-holds-barred approach to writing recipes. If you add Thug Kitchen’s original cookbook to your collection, plan for some saucy language.
  • If feeling like you never know what to make for dinner is heckin’ irritating, check out this cookbook for some inspiration.
  • Ever have an exhausting day and need a sip of wine?  Let this tipsy profanities wine glass help you out.
  • Or better yet, start your day with some extra sweary, extra strong coffee. It’ll wake you up for sure!

Flippin’ Fancy Coloring Books

Adult coloring books became a huge hit when people realized how calming they can be. After all, what better way to reduce your rage than with crayons? The amount of colorful language coloring books is unbelievable!

Motherdrinker Mugs

If you’re too busy with coffee to curse, these mugs are for you.

Books, Beeyotch!

Is written cussing as fun as the spoken kind? You be the judge.

  • If your cursing game has gotten into a rut, this creative cursing book can get you out of it: mix and match your way to better bad language.  
  • Go next-level with this guide to cursing in Yiddish.  (Does it count as cursing if you’re not using your native tongue?)
  • This book of tear-out letters gives you a carefully crafted message for an punk or joker you encounter.
  • If a full letter for a jackwagon seems too generous, you might like these absolutely cranky calling cards.

These are HILARIOUS.

WTF Wearables

Saying your swears is so fleeting; make your cursing last longer by wearing it.  Of course, you might not want a big, ol’ f-bomb on your shirt, but socks? Why the heck not?

Kitschy Crap

Not everything is beeping practical.  Sometime you need a novelty for a bit of good humor.  

  • Too tired to lift a finger?  This motion-activated middle finger will do the heavy lifting for you.  
  • Light up these birthday candles when you’ve lost count of the years you’re celebrating.
  • These BFF keychains are a great gift for the pal whose tongue is just as sharp as yours.
  • This classy lady pillow sham is perfect if you’re just like a pillow: soft on the inside.
  • When push comes to shove and all semblance of patience is lost, grab your #@&% it! button and release a little stress.

Swearing Slowdown

Phew! Lots and lots of four-letter words later, you might want to calm down that cursing crusade.

  • Consider a swear bank.  Every time you drop a big one, you’ve gotta drop a big one (some cold, hard cash, that is) into the bank.
  • Wash off all the dirty words with a bar of anti-swearing soap.
  • Don’t wash your mouth out: try these mints instead.
  • Don’t say it, spray it with anti-swearing breath spray.

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