You ever just think “I wish there was a giant list of stuff to ask my partner”?
Yeah, me, too.
There are important questions, silly queries and just because prompts to get the two of you chatting about breakfast faves, financial plans and everything in between!
For Serious (but New) Relationships
This is the time in your relationship when you need to know the good, bad, and ugly about your life partner-to-be. The stage before you get married is important to use as a gut-check moment before you’re legally and financially entangled. Use your time to find out more about your partner and their past, finances, family, habits and future plans. These things will become the bedrock of your marriage!
- Do you carry any debt? What kind and how much? Do you have a plan to pay it off?
- What is your faith and how does it influence your life and habits?
- Tell me about your previous serious relationships. Why did they end and on what terms?
- What are your parents like?
- What’s your relationship with your siblings?
- Did you have any special traditions growing up?
- Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 50 years? Where do I fit into that picture?
- What’s your ideal decorating style for a home?
- How do you budget and balance your finances?
- Do you envision having children? How firm are you on your decision?
- How do you maintain a work/life balance?
- What does your normal weekday routine look like? Work, exercise, chores, downtime?
- Where are you currently spending most of your free time? How might this change once we are married?
For the Newly-ish Married
You’ve been married and you’re out of the honeymoon stage, but also you’re not yet salty about life. Take some time to check-in and see where you both stand!
- How are you feeling about our life right now?
- If you could change one thing about our lives, what would it be and why?
- I’d like to do a regular financial audit to track our income, spending and savings. What goals do you want to aim for and how can we achieve them?
- Does our home organization work for you right now? If not, how can we change things around?
- What do the next five years look like together?
- Is this what you envisioned when we said “I do”?
- What’s your favorite thing about where we live? What’s your least favorite?
- Does our current balance of household responsibilities work for you? If not, how can we make things more equitable?
Keep checking in with each other to make sure you’re on the same page in your relationship. Good communication can help you through rough spots!
For the Long-Haulers
Your marriage is now measured in decades not months or years. You’re settled into your ways, but maybe could use a shake up?
- What is your favorite memory of us through the years?
- If we could go back in time, when would we go and why?
- Is this still what you envisioned when we said “I do”?
- What’s something you’ve always wanted to try together but we never have?
- Let’s check-in with our finances. Where are we in terms of long-term planning, saving and balancing our budget?
- If we had unlimited resources, what would you want us to do?
- What do the next 5-10 years look like for us? How can we achieve those goals?
Communication doesn’t stop just because you can finish each other’s sentences. There’s always something new to discover!
Buy the Most Thoughtful Gifts
After being together forever, it can get challenging to purchase something thoughtful for your partner. Use these questions to dig a little deeper and curate the best present ever!
- What’s your latest passion project?
- If you could add one cool gadget to our house, what would it be?
- Treat yourself for a day: what are you doing?
- Name your favorite meal of all time.
- Do you have any fancy events coming up?
- What’s happening with your profession? Promotions in the works?
- What are you reading lately?
- What do you find yourself reaching for again and again?
- Name the coolest thing you’ve ever seen.
- If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Plan a Great Date Night
Whether you’re staying in or heading out on the town, use these questions and prompts to plan something truly special.
- You can eat anything tonight. What are you eating?
- What’s better: dressing up or lounging around?
- Red or white?
- Coffee or tea?
- Walking around or hopping a cab?
- What was your favorite date ever, even if it wasn’t with me?
- What is your favorite trip we’ve ever taken?
- Tapas or multi course meal?
- What’s your favorite event to attend? Sports, arts, comedy or something else?
Silly Questions to Bring You Closer
Because not everything has to be perfect or romantic, try these questions to give you a chuckle!
- Show me your secret talent that I still don’t know about!
- What was your worst school picture? Your best or favorite?
- Tell me something I don’t know about your hometown.
- What’s your secret YouTube guilty pleasure?
- Have you done a pickle back? Or drank pickle juice?
- What’s the weirdest but best combo of foods ever?
- Pack like you’re going to a desert island for a year. What’s in your bag?
- Tucked sheet on the bed or untucked?
- You can have a weekly housekeeper, an endless wine cellar, a landscaper or all the streaming services for a year. What are you choosing?
Find Out More About Your Spouse
There’s always something new to discover about your partner!
- What’s the best book you’ve read lately? Why did you like it?
- Tell me about the best BuzzFeed article you’ve ever read.
- Name a TV show you can rewatch endlessly.
- What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on?
- Where do you want to go on a dream vacation? What do you want to do there?
- Who is your favorite artist?
- What’s your favorite song or band or singer?
- Cardio, yoga or strength?
- Best walk ever?
- 50 Texts Perfect for Long Distance Relationships
- 5 Vital Questions Military Couples Need to Ask Before Starting a Business
- 9 Long Distance Relationship Hacks You’ll Love
Meg Flanagan is a teacher, blogger and military spouse. She owns Meg Flanagan Education Solutions, an education advocacy service dedicated to serving families on the K-12 journey. You can find Meg on Facebook. Meg is also available as a freelance writer and personal education advocate!