32 Reasons Why You’re Going to Rock This Deployment

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I think that too often in the military community, we talk about how hard deployment can be, and then we say all kinds nice things to each other that don’t really mean too much.

And hear me say, deployment IS hard. It IS tough. But it is not impossible (even when it seems like it is). There are lots of people cheering you on and many, many military spouses and significant others who have been where you are and have come out on the other side.

If you’re coming up to a deployment or are currently going through one, here’s a list of concrete, real reasons why you’ve got this:

Deployment is tough, but you are so much tougher. And if you're not sure why you've got this, I've got a few for you. #deployment #deploymentlife #deploymentsucks #militaryspouse #milspouse #milso #milspo #milfam #milsos #milspos #milspouses

Because if I can do it (and I’m a self-proclaimed wuss), you can too.

Because the internet exists… and until just a decade or so ago, the easiest way to communicate was by phone… and before that, it was letters.

Because somewhere, someone has it worse than you, and they’re kicking this deployment’s butt.

Because some of our grandparents (or great-grandparents– gosh, I feel old) spent four years apart from each other without R&R to crane kick Hitler in the face.

Because care packages are fun to throw yourself into. (And I’ve got the 411 on everything you could possibly want to know about them.)

Because there’s something cathartic about crying in the shower.

Because The Princess Bride is in the $5 bin at Wal-Mart.

Because you can buy pre-made icing and eat it out of the tub with a spoon. (Oh, that’s just me?)

Because deployment is a great time to spend a little me-time improving on something or learning something new.

Because I’m here for you (and so are a lot of other military spouse bloggers)!

Because The Mindy Project, New Girl, Parks and Rec, and 30 Rock. (Do I need to explain that any further?)

Because you don’t have to shave your legs! (And the peasants rejoiced.)

Because, wine.

Because there are organizations and programs that can help you out. Like these.

Because it’s the perfect time to start a 100 in 1001 or 100 in 365 list.

Because it’s a great time to open up that box of note cards and write letters.

Because sometimes distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

Because there are Ryan Gosling memes to help you through the tough times.

Because this is the perfect time to do all of the things that he’s (or she’s) not too keen on.

Because that homecoming kiss is pretty awesome.

Because the homecoming picture is pretty awesome, too.

Because you can set a career goal and work towards making it happen.

Because, Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu.

Because this video exists and you can watch it for free… as many times as you want. Every day. Yes. Every day.

Because even though deployment feels like it lasts forever (and I get it, I know it does), it really will end. I promise.

Because having something to look forward to is fun.

Because every time you feel like giving up and don’t, you’re getting stronger.

Because every time you give up, Nickleback releases a new single. Don’t let Nickleback release a new single.

Because you don’t have to be strong, upbeat, and amazing every day to rock a deployment.

Because getting counseling or therapy is okay if you need it. And you’re rocking deployment if you’re getting the help and support you need.

Because, if today’s terrible, it doesn’t mean that tomorrow will be.

37 Responses

  1. My husband has not deployed yet and won’t for a while, but I love this and have pinned it for future reference! Thanks for sharing! :)

  2. Love this post! I try to look on the bright side when my husband deploys too. I LOVE having the bed to myself. I’m not crafty, so I don’t do fancy boxes, but I do like shopping for fun things to put in it.

    1. That’s another great point– having the bed all to yourself! I didn’t even think of it since during John’s last deployment, we weren’t married and weren’t living together. Great idea! :-)

  3. I always love a good post on deployment with a positive spin. I wrote this post called How to Tackle Deployment Like a Military Spouse Ninja that I haven’t published yet, and it’s got a similar vibe. Deployments are hard, but it’s also a time where I really look forward to investing in myself. Each night I get to read my favorite book or watch my favorite show or blog or eat 3 candy bars before going to bed and no one will know, care, or say a word about it. Bliss :)


  4. You have a lot of ideas that sooth the mind and reduce some of the fear of deployment. In our day, it was TDY – Temporary Duty Yonder :-) ’68-74
    We had from 90 days to 365 days apart; talked on the phone/airplane, ending sentences with ‘Roger’ and ending with ‘I love you, Roger and out’. One fond memory my husband said he enjoyed was the chocolate chip cookies packed in popcorn. He are the popcorn first. Thank you for your website and assisting today’s precious military families endure separations. Bless you and your sense of humor. Look forward to more from you.

    1. Thank you so much for your memories and wisdom, Becky! I truly appreciate your kind words as well as hearing what worked for you and your husband. I hope you stick around and continue to share your experiences with us here on Jo, My Gosh!

  5. Thank you so much for this post! I just made it through my first deployment and one thing i’m grateful for is being able to wear high heels! (My boyfriends 5’8” and i’m 5’5”!)

  6. Thanks for posting this! I’m about halfway through my first deployment during the first year of marriage, and even though 90% of our dating relationship has been long-distance, having my hubby away on deployment has been much harder than I anticipated. Your upbeat list put a smile on my face, and I let out a chuckle or two as well. I especially like #30, that it’s okay if we’re not strong every day. This list reminds me that my crazy emotions are normal, and there is hope at the end of the tunnel. Thanks again! :)

    1. Crazy emotions are normal, and anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t being honest with you (or themselves)!

  7. I would add a few:

    1. Be thankful you aren’t actually the one deployed
    2. Your spouse needs your foundation of support
    3. Your spouse is more scared/lonely/homesick than you are

  8. i dropped my boyfriend off this morning. 5am. Cried at the very end. Then ran to my car and cried the whole way home. Today I’ve done nothing but drink diet coke and watch Netflix. I de activated my Facebook because I don’t want to see how happy others are right now. It’s the first night without him… So I’m considering sleeping downstairs on the couch with Netflix. Not sure I can handle the emptiness of my bed alone tonight. My eyes sting and my head hurts from the on/off crying. I’m sure tomorrow will be better. But.. Boy… This is just one of the worst feelings, ever. The list made me laugh. Which was a nice change for the day. Thanks!

    1. I agree Nicole J. the thing that is different is I’m a parent. My daughter is my best friend and this is her first deplyoment. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t see her or talk to her. Since yesterday all I’ve done is cry. She a mother of 3 teens and a wonderful husband. To see my grandchildren go though this hard. Her husband is a X Marine. So sorry that I’m going on and on. I will be praying for you and you husband. thanks for listening,

    1. Wham bam thank you, ma’am, my questions are answered!

  9. My fiancé deployed yesterday for four months. I realize that’s a shorter deployment span but this is my very first and I’m scared and nervous–for his health, life, and that our relationship will remain strong. We are planning a wedding in March, after his homecoming in January. I am looking forward to those things so much. I just miss him tremendously….I seriously didn’t know how strong you military spouses were, what y’all go through.

  10. All the Ryan Gosling Memes!
    Oh P.S. your video link doesn’t work now.

    We haven’t lived through our first deployment yet but I am trying to read all the things and prepare as much as I can. I know it will still be hard when it happens but my dad was and my cousin is in the military and I am hoping that some of my ability to manage from them being gone will carry over (I know its totally different when your husband is gone though).

  11. this January will be my first deployment ever with my first military boyfriend ever!
    these made me laugh and the care packages look amazing and i cannot wait to make some!!!
    thank you so much for these and ill deff be back for more!!

  12. Thanks, I needed this! I almost feel like the two weeks before deployment are worse than deployment itself. All I can think about is that he is leaving and it is going to suck. All I do is plan for care packages, plan the deployment farewell party, and order maps and clocks for the deployment wall. It’s kind of hard to get out of your head in the weeks beforehand. Especially since I am ex-military, so I know what goes on when you deploy. This post definitely helped me out. Maybe I can try to focus on enjoying the next two weeks instead of dwelling on it now.

  13. I love this so much. Your blog gives me so much hope. I’m through month 1 of a 6 month month so called ‘silent service’ deployment (I totally understand why they call it that and it sucks) and this list helps me feel a little bit more hopeful. Thank you for all your awesome posts!

  14. I am so grateful I found your blog/website. My husband and I have been married for 4 months and just got news that he is deploying. I’m a wreck and I don’t even know where to begin. Your articles have helped me so much already. I just want to say thank you for putting the time into giving others advice and helping us new military wives along the way. Please keep doing what your doing you are appreciated.

  15. Heading in to first deployment with my submariner. We’ve been together 4 mo and he will be gone for ~3 mo. I know what Missy feels- on our “last day together” I cried like a baby in front of him, in the car, at the gas station, at work, at TV commercials, at everything. Then I was granted the best thing ever!– One more bonus day to see him. I kept myself together but am losing now that he’s gone. I need this blog and posts so much :-) Thank you Jo for all the support!

    1. Hi Stephanie,
      Let me know if you need someone to talk to! I’ve been going through this for a few months now.

  16. The one concrete thing that was not mentioned is the strength you have to show for your children. I loved this blog and thank you for sharing! This deployment sucks a little less now that I have read this.

  17. My fiancé is actually deployed and your article just made me laugh. Thank you, you’re so right about every single point.

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